THE BLOG

05
Oct

What NOT to do when a journalist doesn’t reply to your email

Pitching to the media is TOUGH. If you’re fairly inexperienced, you might find it quite shocking just how common it is for reporters to not respond.

In this short video, I tell you how not to react when a journalist doesn’t reply to your email pitches, and what to do instead.

If there’s just one thing I want you to take away from this, it would be that it’s not personal, and the journalist isn’t being rude either (even if it might feel that way). They just receive SO MANY emails in a day that it would probably be impossible to reply to everyone and actually pull any news together!

25
Apr

What a dating expert taught me about life and business

Something a bit shiz happened to me recently.

A boy I really liked said things were moving faster than what he was comfortable with, and then it was just over. We’d been getting along pretty well. There we were beachside on a beautiful summer’s day, and instead of laughing and splashing about in the water I was withstanding the emotional equivalent of a kick to the guts.

Luckily, by some sheer coincidence, I had spent that morning glued to the YouTube channel of dating expert Matthew Hussey. Hussey had a video for times just like these, so I remained composed (barely) and allowed Hussey to speak through me as I farewelled this fellow for the last time.

I want to flag here that despite being an avid consumer of dating shows like The Bachelor, I’m actually not really one for following dating experts, especially those of the male varietal. I’ve read a few things before and they’ve always left me feeling pretty icky. I recall one particularly interesting piece of… I don’t even want to call it ‘advice’… that suggested a girl demonstrably pout when her new beau looks away, and, when his gaze returns, say “that’s better”. Seriously, what year is it?

But Hussey won me over from the very first piece of his content that floated past my eyeballs as a sponsored Facebook post. It was a video titled How to get him hooked in the first two weeks of dating. I’m sure I’d seen that title dozens of times before and I had dismissed it with an excessive eyeroll. But this time the video started playing at a point that sparked a complete transformation of the way I approach just about every relationship, romantic or not, and with incredible results.

It started playing on tip number 3: Get excited.

Now, this – this is different, I thought. This two word statement had me so enthralled because it went against everything we women (and, I would argue, men) have been taught about dating: when you like someone, the very last thing you should do is show them you give much of a toss. Society both very blatantly and very covertly tells us that to win at love, we have to be aloof, stand-offish and keep our cards close to our chest.

Intrigued, I watched that video from beginning to end. I went and found Hussey’s website, and then his YouTube channel – where I lost about five hours of my life but gained some incredible insight into how I had landed myself repeatedly in these predicaments with men who kind of liked me until I showed some interest back, or where there was an initial spark but I wound up doing all the work and getting nothing in return until they eventually disappeared.

Finally, I could see how I was attracting the wrong guy and contributing to all these unwanted outcomes.

If I tried to neatly sum up a comparison of archaic approaches to dating versus Hussey’s, it would be this:

The standard approach to dating has underlying principles of protection, while Hussey’s approach is about safely creating opportunities for connection.

It’s not about throwing yourself at someone, au contraire; Hussey has very clear instructions for being a ‘high value’ kinda girl and only investing when someone is investing in you. No, it’s about being open while retaining your self-respect, building attraction without sacrificing your values, and allowing everyone (especially you) to maintain boundaries and move at a comfortable pace. It actually just brings plain common sense back to the world of relating and dating. Because let’s face it, when we’re high on a cocktail of oxytocin, dopamine and pheromones, we can all go a bit batty.

Now when I refer to my dating life, there is BH (Before Hussey) and AH (After Hussey).

Having been firmly entrenched in my protection-oriented ways, it took real guts to kick over to an AH style of dating. I recall the time, BH, that I dry retched when a male friend suggested I text a guy I really liked to come join us at a pub. Oh my God – but then he’ll know I like him, and that’ll make me look STOOPID. Now, I confidently text because I know it’s not a cardinal sin to show someone you’re into them. In fact, it’s kind of constructive to actually getting together with them.

Hussey has given me the confidence and permission to be the warm, kind and open person in Dating Life that I actually am In Real Life. As a result, the type of men I attract and the type of relationships I have has completely transformed. When you’re emotionally open and available, you give someone permission to be emotionally open and available right back if they are ready and willing to be. And if they’re not, they’ll just choof off, and it will have had nothing to do with me.

Getting to the point of this blog: I don’t just have a BH and AH in my dating life, but in my life in general. You see, when I started warming up to potential partners, I naturally started warming up everywhere else. Now upon examining the way I used to communicate across the board with family, friends, and business acquaintances, I can see I was pretty flat a lot of the time. Who wants to spend time with that?? No one could accuse me of being stone cold and uncaring, but there was a stack of room to show up and lighten up.

Now, in life and in business, I get excited, and I’ve watched all my relationships – business, platonic and romantic – flourish as a result.

Thanks Matthew Hussey! x

07
Oct

What does it take to be a true creative? Rogue Homme turns five

Singer, stylist and one of my dearest friends Arrnott Olssen celebrated the fifth birthday of his blog Rogue Homme a few weeks ago.

The event was a stylish collaboration with the Intercontinental Sydney that saw guests mingle in a downstairs space reimagined as an 1800s florist-inspired pop-up bar before moving upstairs for the spectacular views offered up by the rooftop Supper Club.

Rooftop views at the Intercontinental Sydney Supper Club.

If you don’t mind a view… the Supper Club at the Intercontinental Sydney is one of the city’s best kept rooftop experience secrets.

Thanks to Hayman’s Gin and Grey Goose, there was no shortage of cocktails.

I have no idea who to thank for the smorgasbord of cheese.

Cocktails aplenty at the Intercontinental Sydney

Like what you see? More sexy shots like this at @supper.club.sydney 

I connected with Arrnott about 10 years ago when I took on some publicity work around his 80kg weight loss. I was quickly struck by the very human-ness of this unbelievably talented person. If you’ve never heard Arrnott sing, it’s like the heavens open up and angels are speaking on earth. As a creative director and event stylist, he can pull together a room like nobody’s business.

Arrnott Olssen singing at Intercontinental Sydney Supper Club

Is that you singing, Arrnott, or has a divine entity made its way to earth?

As I’ve watched him grow his following from the sidelines, what has struck me most about Arrnott’s journey is that it highlights the universal experience of true creatives – you’re a lateral worker in a world that expects you to be linear, sometimes the well runs dry, sometimes your vision is two years ahead of your audience’s capacity to grasp it, self-doubt renders your intuition mute, and, of course, there is the incredible, almost addictive high when you deliver something that touches someone and compels you to keep creating.

It takes flipping guts to pull something out from deep within yourself and present it to the world.

Congratulations, Arrnott, on reaching five years, and I look forward to seeing what the next five years brings you. xx

Ps check out @roguehomme for men’s fashion, food and lifestyle news.

22
Jun

One week in California: 5 of my favourite moments

Media famils are so much fun, but they can also be a lot of hard work. Chances are you won’t know anyone else you’re traveling with. And it is still a business trip, not a holiday. So it’s kind of like an extended lunch meeting with a new client, where you’ll eventually all end up in your pyjamas together and sharing a hair straightener.

Turning up to the airport for my recent famil to California, I felt like a kid on their first day of school. What if the other kids don’t like me? What if no one wants to play with me? What did mum pack me for lunch again?

(Things very quickly all come back to food for me.)

The nerves quickly settled as I discovered that everyone was not only so damn lovely, but very willing to play nicely, and I’m happy to say I’ve made a new bunch of friends.

These are some of the pictures and stories you won’t see turning up on any credible news outlet any time soon.

That moment when… we decided to do a Vogue-style photo shoot at Monarch Beach Resort.

We’d just returned to our hotel after an amazing dining experience at The Ritz Carlton, Dana Point. A few too many red wines sparked this brilliant bit of creative direction.

That moment when…. We returned back to La Quinta Resort at 1am, completely broken from Coachella, to find a street taco stand.

Life saving.

Other memorable food moments include my steak at The Ritz Carlton and downing a bacon-wrapped hot dog at 1.30am at Coachella when all other food options had closed.

That moment when… whale watching in Dana Point turned really, really bad.

I think the picture says it all.

 Every single moment Amy Stevenson and I stopped for a photo shoot…

 

 

Nailed it! Coachella 2017

Slumming it in the OC

“Oh look babe, photo opp!”

An attempt at ‘candid’…

Still carrying the dust from Coachella the night before, exhausted, in need of breakfast and: “Babe, look up- ceiling mirror – photo opp!” @ Kings Highway Diner, Palm Springs

That moment when… It registered that I was on the other side of the world, having a tonne of experiences that many people will only dream about.

#gratitude – with massive thanks to Visit California, Air New Zealand and my California media family!